Looking back on Two Years of DD, Founder @madirez found herself in what the internet told her might be a quarter-life crisis. Is that even a thing? She explores the concept by sharing her own experience and how looking back is just as important as looking ahead.
Late August marked two years of deardiaryxo.com. Since then, I have done a lot of reflecting and have experienced something I wasn't expecting. I started experiencing a little bit (lot) of panic. Anniversaries of any sort, the passing of time in general, or any slight mark or wrinkle of getting older can cause panic for most people. Still, I don't think the passing of time causes this sense of anxiety as much as it is the feeling of losing time.
On the first anniversary of this blog, I was excited. After being rejected by a company to which I had pitched a similar idea, I began the blog. I was lost, confused, and genuinely just trying to find a place that was my own, so I created one. Two years in, I find myself critiquing where I am and where I wish I were. This brutal examination has coincided with the paralyzing thought of turning twenty-five this year. I have begun to ask myself, is a quarter-life crisis a thing? Because I may be having one.
I don't think having a quarter-life crisis is the worst thing in the world, for the record, but I am looking at time differently now than how I did when I was 21 and even when I started DD. Maybe the additional pressure that comes with aging includes the pressure to make the right choices. I have never aged before, but I think that may be it. Anyway, that is what I have been experiencing with this blog getting older, as well as me getting older. I have been deep diving into everything and thinking about how I could have done things differently. Relationships, career choices, decisions with my time, you name it, it has come up for me in the past couple of weeks. So, what do I do with this? What do we, as twenty-somethings, do with the feeling of the crisis of time?
I wish I knew. But, what the internet has told me, is that we, that is, you and me, if you are also experiencing these feelings, are not alone. I started working on this piece earlier this month, and since then, a song has gone viral on Tik Tok by Taylor Bickett called "Quarter Life Crisis." A trend of showing yourself at 16 and now, or closer to 28, has flooded my 'for you' page. Call it fate, but to me, it's a sign that a lot more twenty-somethings, even older people, are also experiencing this challenge of the passing of time. Some people might answer the question, "Is a Quarter-Life Crisis a Thing?" with an answer that alludes to a twenty-something being too young to have feelings similar to its derived namesake, a Mid-Life Crisis. That said, I, along with many of the internet, disagree. If anything, we are just starting to normalize the pain that comes with transitional times of the human experience, which for many can be after college and/or early on in your career. People talk about this time, your mid-twenties, being the best time of your life, and although this is true for many, and even on many days, two realities can be true. Your mid-twenties can be some of the best times of your life while also being challenging and some of the most lonely. I have found it challenging because I still feel like I am trying to find my purpose through my work, and I guess if we're going deeper in life too.
Spoiler alert: this piece doesn't end with some solution to feeling the anxiety of a Quarter-Life Crisis. If you haven't read other pieces of mine, I have never claimed to have all the answers, and with this topic, I definitely do not, as I am currently experiencing it myself. What I do know is it is a waste of time to play the game of what-ifs. If we are being honest, this post is coming out now instead of a couple of weeks back because of my own feelings of what-ifs. You can always have done something better, but you also could have probably done it a hell of a lot worse. So, as I look ahead to the future of this blog, although I may not have hundreds of thousands of readers each month, I have built something unique that is 100% mine. And that's pretty cool. I am proud of myself for taking rejection and making it into something beautiful (shameless self-plug). I've learned a lot, but as I change, inevitably, so will my little space on the internet.
Starting a blog in 2020 seemed a little old school, blogs haven't been popular since before the take-off of Instagram, but for me, it was what I needed. From the blog, I grew our Instagram page and now our TikTok, where I enjoy connecting with other twenty-somethings. I have met so many incredible people over the last two years from all over the world, ALL twenty-somethings who are just trying to figure life out. It has brought me so much peace and comfort knowing my struggles and experiences are not singular, and I hope they have made you feel the same.
Wrapping this up with a lovely pink, sparkly bow, the main thing I would share with anyone struggling with their own crisis, quarter-life or not, is that you still have time. Go out and take risks with that time and not to be corny, but follow your dreams. Our time is the most valuable resource. For me, that means continuing this space on the internet I created. You have the power to make a difference in other people's lives, and you are not alone. So cheesy but true. It leads to another lesson: consistency is everything. I have struggled over the last year to stay consistent with Dear Diary XO content and blog posts, but I know that that is where I can get and be better- and I will do it! Whatever it is in your life, remind yourself that consistency is the only thing holding you back.